Recently I sold a piece of furniture that has been in my family since before my birth. It was a French Provincial vanity table from the early 1960s that my Grandmother purchased for my Mom and her sister. When I was a teenager, I remember sitting at the table, digging through my Grandmother’s lotions, potions and cosmetics and gazing into the mirror to learn how to apply my own makeup. I inherited the table somewhere along the way and I enjoyed it for a while before it was relegated to the guest bedroom. By the time it was sold the table was old and a little beat up with a missing drawer handle and a few deep scratches on the top and the style matched nothing else in my home.


Even though I told myself I was ready to sell it I had a hard time saying goodbye to that old vanity table. Honestly, I was surprised about the emotions and thoughts that showed up around saying yes to the purchase offer.


· Would my family be disappointed that I had sold it to someone outside the family?

· Would my Grandmother think I now longer valued her things?

· Will my nephew want it someday when he is grown and married? By the way, he is only 12 years old and I doubt he has been coveting a 1960s table.

· Do I spend the time and money to refinish it and continue to use it?


So many feelings over one piece of furniture. I found myself asking “why am I resistant to selling this table?” However, after some reflection I realized that it was less about an attachment to the physical object and more about my relationship with my Grandmother. My need to have someone else’s approval to feel worthy was strong in this scenario. My need to avoid conflict and disappointing someone. As a recovering people pleaser, I still experienced a strong sense of self-imposed guilt. Over a table of all things! In all honesty, I would have sold the table years ago but was afraid that my Grandmother, who passed away last year, would be disappointed. Yet I never asked her how she felt about the table. Instead I made up a story that had me holding onto a piece of old furniture I no longer wanted.


Selling the table has been part of a larger effort to declutter my physical space and live a more minimalist lifestyle. A project that has been slow but steady over the past year . I feel lighter and less stressed with every box and bag that leaves my home. So far, I have released clothing, electronics, toys, games, technology and yes even some family heirlooms. As the granddaughter of frugal woman who went to Heaven and left a garage and house full of treasurers for the rest of us to sort out, I have always leaned more towards the OCD side of keeping a clutter-free, organized home. But due to life circumstances and unconscious spending habits over the past few years the “clutter” has slowly been creeping in. You know the things. The box of inherited family photos, the pile of drones received as Christmas gifts, the broken stereo, the extra electric cords, the Halloween costumes, etc. Some things have been easier to let go of and some (like Grandmother’s vanity table) have been harder to release.


In the end the table was sold to a Millennial who was super excited to get the table. She has been collecting the entire bedroom set and my Grandmother’s vanity table was the final piece to complete her collection. Unfortunately, I was gone when she picked up the table but hearing my husband talk about her excitement fills my heart with joy. It makes me happy that a little piece of my history now sits in someone else’s home creating new memories.


Kat Sanford is a business and life strategist that works with female entrepreneurs and leaders to curate a more heart-centered, intentional way of living and being.





Is there a book sitting on your coffee table or bookshelf that changed your life? A book that vibrates with power. Pure transformational energy.

There are a couple of books like that for me. One of them is The Desire Map  by Danielle LaPorte.

Before I read Danielle’s book, this is how I felt about goal setting and my life:

  • The focus was on what I wanted to HAVE (yes, the tangible stuff like that pair of cute shoes) instead of how I wanted to BE and FEEL.

  • I lost the excitement and enthusiasm about the goal quickly.

  • I felt like a failure if I set a BIG goal and failed to reach it. I was focused more on the end result than the wins along the way.

Then, I read this book and almost overnight, big changes started to happen for me.

I realized… I was chasing someone else's dream.

I started…  PAYING ATTENTION. To how I was spending my energy, time and money.

I let go of…  STUFF and obligations that were distracting me from time with my family & time for me. (NOTE: This is an ongoing process of releasing what no longer serves me)

The way we set goals is the way we live our lives. Your goals are your plans. They’re your vision for your future (and probably, your family’s future, too). Did you choose that vision on purpose? With clarity and confidence?

Are your goals based on your heart’s true desires, or what society tells you that you should want? Are your goals driven by your core desired feelings, or by the expectations your friends or family have of you?

Read The Desire Map, by Danielle LaPorte, and answer those questions for yourself.

When you get clear on the way you most want to feel and you make life choices based on those core desired feelings, well… I can speak from experience and say that EVERYTHING changes.

Life gets brighter, clearer, more fulfilling. Life feels better!

I’m wishing that for you — today and always.


AND...if you want support in getting clear on your CORE DESIRED FEELINGS send me an email at kat@katsanford.com and let's schedule a time to chat. Or check out the Desire Map Events page for upcoming virtual events and workshops.


*Kat is a licensed Desire Map Facilitator and guides people through the process of discovery what they really want and how they really want to feel so they can create meaningful goals that help them live meaningful lives. She is also an Affiliate of Desire Map products.

If you are a retreat leader then you know the value of an in-person retreat. Spending time with your clients face-to-face in a setting where they are unplugged from the daily distractions of life can certainly equal magical, momental shifts in your retreat participants lives and businesses. However, if you are unable to host a live retreat right now you can still serve your community by hosting a virtual retreat. If this sounds overwhelming, fear not. Here are 5 simple tips of how to make sure your virtual retreat is an amazing experience for all involved.


Tip #1 - CREATE CONTENT. Create a simple, easy-to-follow retreat workbook for your participants to journal, take notes or complete self-guided exercises. NOTE: Keep it simple. It can be a one-page PDF document. What knowledge do you want them to take away?


Tip #2 - SEND AN ENGAGING WELCOME EMAIL. Get them excited about participating and share what to expect next and how to fully participate in the retreat. Include any technology instructions with links, PDF's of workbook and instructions for how to get the best experience (ex: make sure you are in a quiet, distraction-free location with headphones.) out of the retreat.


Tip #3 - CREATE AN EXPERIENTIAL, RESULTS FOCUSED AGENDA. If it is your first virtual retreat I recommend you keep your agenda to one-day, around 4 hours. A virtual retreat can follow the same agenda as a live retreat with a few tweaks to interactive, hands-on group activities. For example, if you normally open your live retreat with a meditation session you can duplicate that in a virtual retreat. Build in opportunities for sharing, group chats, self-guided exercises and breaks. And be prepared to be flexible. A topic may show up for many of your participants and you may decide to spend more time discussing it because it will support your participants in breaking through to a desired outcome.


Tip #4 - KNOW YOUR LOGISTICS. There are many platforms available for event registration, hosting virtual events and receiving payment. Keep it simple. Visit my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/katsanfordretreats for a list of resources.


Tip #5 - SPREAD THE WORD. In other words, market your retreat. Share your event invitation via your email list and social media channels and include links to register. Look for places where you can be featured as a guest speaker on another expert's upcoming webinar/virtual event. Build excitement by sharing tips via Instagram TV or Facebook LIVE. What can you do to build credibility and community with your online audience who might also be potential retreat participants? Who are your RAVING FANS that would you spread the word in exchange for you doing the same or a small Brand Ambassador commission or chance to attend your retreat for free or a discount?


And finally, pick a date and get started! The time is now...don't wait until you have more knowledge, more clients. If you need support please reach out to me at kat@katsanford.com.


#virtualretreats, #katsanfordretreats #retreatstraveltransformation #virtualevents


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